Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
