i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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