get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
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