I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Enjoy the penises
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
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