He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Randomize
