i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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