so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
