fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
