I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
