I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
