her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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