I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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