By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
You pole danced in your parka.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
