She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
how do you play pong handcuffed?
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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