I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
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