My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Randomize
