Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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