how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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