Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Randomize
