apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize