i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
