somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
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