just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
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