if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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