If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
