I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
