So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
He keeps bees of course he's weird
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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