At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
