Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
