didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
