omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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