My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I feel like abortions should bother me more
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize