her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
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