Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
