He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
