I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
