Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
