out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
How external is "for external use only"?
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
