all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
