ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
