my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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