Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
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