Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
