we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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