Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
