Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Randomize
