I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
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