plz talk dirty to me
remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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