That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
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