I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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