I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Randomize
