I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Im part way to drunk.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
