I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
