I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
