Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
