Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
