i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Randomize
