i would punch a child for taco bell
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
