Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize