Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
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